Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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