i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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