I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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