Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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