I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
