I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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