I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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