i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't think brook has ever known best
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
