Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
