after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
