sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
