that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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