The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
high people should be assigned attendants
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
