Please, let me fuck your mom
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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