I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
