great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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