I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
