She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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