I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
