I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
