Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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