I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
