I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
