i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize