do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
