I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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