now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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