Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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