so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
