Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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