Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
