Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
