i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
