I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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