When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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