so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
