Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
