You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
