Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
