as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
