Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
420 ftw
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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