I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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