Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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