With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize