My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
