I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
