dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need water and some morals
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
