her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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