these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
