Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
