she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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