i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
there was a trapeze. enough said
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
