so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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