i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize