What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
