god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
