even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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