I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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