Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
