He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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