It's Friday. Sex?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
