There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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