Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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