please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
