what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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