Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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