hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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