Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
