thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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